Sabotage

I consider myself to be a pretty intelligent person, and a good decision-maker (uh-oh, any time you start by qualifying something, you know it's going downhill). Yesterday, I had a 45-mile hilly ride planned, at an easy pace because the 4,000+ feet of climbing would be the work. Also, the prior day, I put in a 7-hour training day that involved a hard ride, a tempo pace brick run, a swim, and some weights (whew!). The plan was just to back up a hard day's training with some riding to build the endurance and fitness. I had a field trip with my students for the entire day, and going into the workout, I was a bit calorie deficient for the day.

I held my easy pace up the first climb, and I passed a rider. A couple of minutes later, he re-passed me, but I held my pace (good job Kiet). My steady pace found me re-passing the guy again, and then he immediately went by me, inviting me to play I guess. I wasn't supposed to play today so I let him go. But once again, he came back to me, and this time, I admit, I put in about an extra 10% effort to hold him off for good. Even with the incident, the pace was still easy/recovery.

During a flat section, I held a moderate pace, just chilling in my aerobars and enjoying the tailwind. A roadie went by me and after passing, he looked back. He stayed several hundred meters in front of me for some time, and he constantly looked over his shoulder checking in on me, inviting me to play. And out went any intelligence or good decision-making skills I possess, and I began the chase. As I was hammering to pull him back in, I fully knew that I was making a poor decision, and putting myself at risk for bonking. I specifically remember thinking, I'll take that risk, maybe I won't bonk, and I'll just feel good and hold on, and he and I can ride the rest of the way together. Just before I caught up to him, he made a turn. Damn! There will be no company to make the rest of the ride go by quicker. Poor decision Kiet.

As I pressed on solo, I knew the calorie deficient day was catching up to me. My head was becoming foggy, my hands tingled, and I was losing power on the pedals. But I did not reach for food. Once again, I'm smart, in fact, I'm a freakin' coach! I coach athletes to perform. Yet here I am, feeling the bonk come on, and I make the decision that I don't really want to eat. I was over energy food, and I just didn't want to eat a bar. By the time I hit the last climb of the day, I was barely turning the pedals over, and thoughts of calling for a ride was filling my brain. I finally succumbed and reached for my bar, about 5 miles from home. I was a wreck by the time I rolled through the door of my house, laying on the floor, and thinking, why do I sabotage my training? Today's training did not call for me to be wrecked! Do other people do this?