Something About Mary

I had a mini-meltdown two weeks ago, and from that, I started to question my discipline and work ethic. During idyll moments, I would reflect on my decision to race two Ironmans this year, was it just whimsy on my part? Then I got a comment from Mary saying that she too has mini-meltdowns. Let me catch you up on Mary. She wakes up at 3:50 AM and she has 3 Ironmans on the schedule this year. This woman does not lack discipline. This got me to thinking then, what is the cause of our melt-downs? I was then reminded of something my sister, our amateur family therapist, told me years ago. She said, "People rarely get mad from anger, but rather, they get mad from hurt." From this, I deduced the idea that Ironman triathletes don't have meltdowns due to lack of discipline, but rather due to fatigue. When Mary and I wake up at the wee hours of the morning, if we are more fatigued, it is harder to get started. But we don't lack discipline. Thus, there's no reason to question our discipline. We just need to reduce the fatigue, either by rest or keep up the training to get more fit. And this leads me to another quote I read on Mary's blog, "progress is a drug". YES IT IS! Since taking 4 days off from the stomach flu, I'm starting to feel progress again and it is addicting. After a long 10 hour day of work, I was riding my bike home and caught myself getting really excited to sit on the trainer. I was getting fit again and I wanted to nurture the progress.

And for those of you still curious, yes, I belted out the song at the wedding. The night before and up to the morning of the wedding, I had decided that I was not going to do it. It's a wedding, a sacred ceremony, I'm not gonna stink it up with my silly notion of singing a song and playing the guitar...badly. But my friend and the groom, Kevin, said something to me in passing, and probably with not much thought, that changed my mind. He said, "We are all going to need a little courage today Kiet." I'm so I glad I did, I guess this act was more special than I could have imagined.

Personal Leave Weekend

I had at least two blog entries stewing in my head about how well the training was going and how fit I felt of late. And the numbers confirmed what I felt, I was hitting season best times and approaching several PR's. I was getting the training done, but the rest of my life was quite hectic. This past Wednesday, I woke up at 5:00 AM to what I can only explain as a mini meltdown. What am I doing? This is not my job. Isn't this supposed to be fun? What was I thinking signing up for two Ironmans? Somehow, I was able to get on the trainer and complete my brick workout, even PRing my run loop for the season. One meltdown avoided.

This time last year, I didn't have a full-time job, and I was living the real life of a pro. This year, a different story. Not only am I working 10+ hour days, but I'm also coaching again. During my coaching season, I like to tell my friends that I feel like a single dad to 23 children. Yes, they can be quite needy. And like every parent with children, you pick up whatever illnesses they have. In my case, there is a stomach flu going around. Sure enough, Friday night, it was coming out of me at both ends (TMI?), the stomach flu. If you ever want to get down to your fighting weight, contract the stomach flu. It's a horrible feeling, you're starving but the thought of food just makes you even more sick. I'm sitting here now, able to get some food down but my energy level is definitely waaaay down. I don't see myself starting the training back up until Tuesday. I try not to focus on the gains that I've made in the past 10 days slipping away. I believe consistency is the way to get faster, and well, this is not helping my consistency, oh well.

And to make matters worst, this guitar keeps staring at me. My friends are getting married this weekend, and they asked their friends in lieu of gifts, to contribute something (a story, poem, etc..) to the ceremony. Somehow, I got it in my head that I would learn to sing and play this song on the guitar. But after meeting with my guitar teacher for our first lesson, she gave me a bit of a reality check and she said there was no way in hell I was going to do it in the time that I have. So I suggested another Cat Stevens song and she said this is doable...but I might want to consider the appropriateness of singing a song called Father and Son at a wedding. I told her it doesn't really matter, everybody is going to be too distracted by my singing and playing to even notice the words. All of my friends know I have no musical talent whatsoever so they'll just be in shock the entire time. I have one more week to get this damn thing down. Dig deep Kiet, dig deep.